


Welcome to Jeff

by orphan_account



Series: Crossovers [1]
Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: bad jeff, its mature because jeff curses, not much carlos but some ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 01:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeff stumbles upon a friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while Jeff puts people to sleep.Aka I want to combine two of my weirder fandoms





	Welcome to Jeff

Jeff had been driving for a long, long, long time. He'd stolen this damned car almost twelve hours ago, and there wasn't a gas station in sight.  _Don't look at me like that, they were sleeping, they don't need it anymore._ This desert was stretching on, and on... Jeff pestered the woods to be honest, considering how last name was Woods and irony made him smile. Well, everything made him smile, by that wasn't the point. The point was, Jeff enjoyed the cover of the trees, the safety. Out in this absolute wasteland, there was nowhere to hide.

 Unfortunately, in the last town he'd been in he'd had a close call, and was spotted, so he had to get as far away as possible.

Jeff was coming up to a town, with a weird ass cloud hanging over top of it- was he hallucinating or did it just drop a dead deer on the side of the rode? Jeff considered pulling over for sleep when the radio crackled to life without him touching any of the buttons.

 "Trees? Are you sure that's what was talking on your window? Welcome, to Night Vale."

 "Okay, what in the absolute fuck-" Jeff was cut off.

 "A stranger is passing through Night Vale, listeners. A small family wagon, but only one person inhabiting it. The stranger has unnaturally pale skin, no eyelids, and a permanent smile. The person is seventeen. What does this stranger want? How did he find us? What is he doing driving without a licence young man?" The voice continued. 

 "Okay creep- how the fuck did you do that!?" Jeff shouted, as the voice spoke.

 "This stranger totalled three cars before this, ah, he's "self taught" I understand. I myself learned to erect a bloodstone circle on my own, which is a dangerous ritual even when done by professionals. " The voice seemed to smile. "Speaking of which, Carlos and I recently put one up in our new house, which was extremely terrifying, but enjoyable."

  _Bloodstone_ -  _you know what? I don't even care I'm out of here. Just need a gas station..._ Jeff thought to himself as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Jeff had been some crazy ass shit over the years, this was probably not as half as bad as anything else.

 "And now dear listeners, I take you to traffic." The voice said. " there is an empty has station on the corner of first and third street, and another self service one just last old woman Josie's at the North end of town. There was a bug, sitting in one of them,  it it was quickly detained by the Sheriff's Secret Police, and they are taking it in to the station to eat. This has been traffic.

 "Now listeners, there have been concerns on the recent outbreaks of throat spiders in Night Vale Public Schools, but, there is no reason to worry, the City Council has released a statement saying that only the children who deserve it will become infected. Better to cleanse your child's karma and hope for the best rather than take away your child's education. And now, the weather."

 "Throat spiders? What the hell? This isn't weather!" Jeff blurted. Well, at least he knew where the gas stations were. He pulled up to one, and shrugged on his clean hoodie to hide his face, he might as well get some food while he was in wherever he was. As Jeff walker up to the door, hand clenching the knife in his hoodie pocket, he noticed the sticker on the door.

_**Proud to be, wheat and wheat byproduct free!** _

"Okayyy... " This was getting weirder and weirder.

The sticker wasn't lying. Everything in the store was free of wheat, and its byproducts, but Jeff managed to find a few Cliff bars and jerkey. He luckily took enough cash from the last house to pay for it, and the gas.  _Stop looking at me like that, THEY W_ _EREN'T USING IT._ Jeff slid back into the car and kept driving, the radio growing fuzzier and fuzzier has he went. As he neared the City limits, he could just barely make out the words the voice was saying:

 "Goodnight, Night Vale, good night."

Jeff got the fuck out of there.


End file.
